My Teen Asked to Have a Party, Now What?

My daughter turned 17 last month and the one thing she wanted was to have a party with her friends. And yes Mom, there will be drinking involved, underage drinking.

Now I understand that we all parent different and we all have views and values on what we would do with this issue and I know there will be some who strongly disagree with me and that is your prerogative.

The Dilemna

Underage drinking is a touchy topic. I do also think that kids nowadays are much more responsible then we were in the 80’s. I grew up in a small town with not a lot to do on weekends. So what we did was hang out and go to gatherings or parties at friends homes or in a field somewhere. We also didn’t have the technology of smartphones that were able to document our every move, good or bad..And if I am going to be honest, thank goodness for that. And if I am going to be super honest my first drink of alcohol at a party was probably in Grade 8??

So I do not turn a blind eye to my kids and say ‘they would never do that’..They are teenagers, always pushing the boundaries, and testing, trying different things.

I get it. I know it is hard for our kids to believe that yes, we were once teenagers and going through the exact same things they are. Been there, done that!!

So when my daughter came to us and asked to have a party, my husband and I said that was fine. We would be home and there were going to be a few rules and she was fine with that.

I am going to refer back to one of Christine and my original blog posts on Teen Drinking. We both took a side and discussed it in more detail. My side being Moxie’s View.

We didn’t want the ‘drinking’ part to be something that was done behind our backs. (even though I know it has been done). We wanted to be able to have a discussion and talk about being responsible about drinking alcohol. This is a fact, teen are exposed to this, among other substances and having a great line of open communication with them helps them to understand the consequences of their actions.

Prepping for the party

So the prep began, we cleaned up the basement (it is undeveloped, except for some drywall to cover the outside walls) and hung some lights and provided some seating and set up a games area ;). This was a safe place to have everyone as there was nothing there to get broken or wrecked.

I went and bought some snacks, pizza and water. All was ready for the 20 some kids to hang, listen to music and have some fun. We knew there would be some kids that arrived with alcohol and some that did not. Those that did, were questioned in regards to having a safe ride home.

The party started and all was good. There was loud music, well more bass then music :), lots of laughs and singing. I will say all did go off without any major hitches, (there were a few minor ones but there is no need to get into detail.) Midnight came and everyone left and all that was remaining was for my daughter was to clean up the mess of food dropped on the floor, empty cans and wipe up whatever was spilled.

After all was said and done, I asked her if she had fun and her response was:

Yes but having a party is stressful!!

Yes, that it is..Not sure she will ask again to host a party..

The planned worked 😉


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