I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been struggling lately with the realization that our kids are almost grown and how the dynamic in our household is subtly changing each year. With that struggle comes a little bit of self doubt. I wonder if we taught them everything they are going to need to know as adults. I question whether, with all my faults, I was a “good enough” mom.
But I recently had an experience that helped change that narrative in my brain and I’ve decided to share just in case any of you suffer from similar insecurities.
This year lets go easier on ourselves…
Last week my son found some old video tapes I had made into dvd’s of when our kids were little and popped them into our family computer. Just out of my sight line, I could hear my husband and I singing songs, patiently playing games, and guiding our 2 and 3 year old boys through various day to day activities.
Fond memories for me, I couldn’t help but peak around the corner and watch too. While I loved going down memory lane, I got the distinct feeling these videos amounted to more than just memories for my son. He watched, totally enraptured by our care and attention of him as a toddler.
Although I wanted to watch the videos too, I was more intrigued by watching my son’s reaction to what he saw. He saw his dad, driving 45 minutes in the middle of December (each way) to attend his last Gymboree class. Dressed in a suit, my husband sang the songs, crawled on the mats and engaged in the class like a pro. And then I saw it.
It was a lightbulb “aha” moment for him. Our son was finally seeing the love, commitment, and the pure joy he brought to our lives. He was seeing how our love grows and changes but that being his parent was and continues to be the most important, difficult, and rewarding job his father and I have ever had.
More than once, as we watched, he commented on our time and focus on them. He saw how we taught through every day moments.
“What letter does your name start with?”
” What sound does the T make?”
And how much energy and creativity that takes.
For me, witnessing this revelation brought about three of my own “aha” moments.
I’m Still Learning and it’s OK
We didn’t know what the heck we were doing back then, but man did we try hard! And really – the same can be said for today!
As the mom of three almost grown young adults, I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. BUT, after watching those videos, from now on I’m going to be a little more gentle on myself when I screw up.
Guess what kids, I’m trying really freakin’ hard.
This year, lets go easier on ourselves…
It takes a VILLAGE
Watching those videos, my son witnessed again how much extended family and friends played a part in his childhood. Re-watching Christmases and birthday parties I was reminded just how big the influence of the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends is in creating these kids. Our kids are better thanks to them and the relationships we ensured they had.
This year, lets go easier on ourselves…
We did GOOD!!
Am I a perfect mom? Is my husband a perfect dad? Nope. But watching my 18 year old look back at his childhood with more mature eyes I could see it… he was grateful. And we did GOOD.
So, this year I’m going easier on myself…
If you are a mom to teens, or young adults, share your thoughts below… We love hearing from you!
Feeling grateful for this family of mine yesterday, today and always. If you want to check out Danni’s thoughts on Gratitude – check out her post HERE
xx
C