I recently celebrated my 49th birthday but if you ask my husband, I take the opportunity to celebrate right into August. So he has now labelled my birthday month as Jul-August! 🙂 Anyhow, it got me thinking on how I am at the end of another decade and the things that I have learned about myself. I feel as if this last decade was very enlightening for me in so many ways. So as I am reflecting on my 40’s, I would like to share with you a few things that I have come to realize.
I remember reading an instagram post from one of our favourite bloggers, Michelle AKA @Snazzynsweet. She just recently turned 50 (she looks amazing!!) and was discussing the different decades in her life, which I could relate too.
A time when we were all trying to figure ourselves out. Who we were, what we wanted to do with our life. To be honest, I am still trying to figure that one out. Young and naive, thinking that we were invincible.
We were immersed in being a mom and making sure the needs of our family were being met. This whole decade was really a big blur to me. If you asked me what my 30’s were like I really would not know what to say. I look back at pictures and am amazed that I made it through. It was also a tough time for me as that is the decade I lost my Dad to cancer. So I think I started to do a lot of soul searching that decade because of this life changing event.
This last decade was still about family but they were becoming more self sufficient. This is something I had trouble realizing that because my life revolved around them, but I was starting to think a little more about me and what I wanted. Which I found hard. I needed to find my passion again.. (Another great read – Finding your Passion). But along the way I did figure a few things out.
Reflecting on My 40’s
Number 1 – LET THAT SHIT GO!!
This is a mantra that I just happened to learn in the last year. Imagine getting to 49 and realizing that you just need to let shit go! I purchased the book, aptly named Let That Shit Go and I literally had an epiphany reading it. That OMG moment. I can not control everything. I can let what other say or do affect me or my decisions. Everything is not personal and most of the time most people do not even care what I think or do. Crazy isn’t it!!
Number 2 – IT ISN’T PERSONAL
There was a time when I took things personal when someone did not like me or I did not get that job. I would always wonder why and what could I do differently. I finally realized that it wasn’t personal. Sometimes people just do not click or jobs are not the right fit. Or maybe our time as friends just ended because we both got what they needed out of a relationship for that time period. And you know what..That is okay. Don’t take it personal. As we get older I think we want more authentic relationships with people that we can relate to, have fun and laugh with and just be ourselves with. Friendships should not have to be hard.
Number 3 – SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH
Oh this is good one and hard for me to realize some days. For so long I did for my kids and family first. Not complaining, that was my choice. So taking the time for me does not come naturally, but I am working on it. Isn’t there a saying that ‘You Can’t Run on an Empty Gas Tank’..Well maybe I just made that up, but it is true. Fill that gas tank and don’t feel bad about doing it!!
And lastly…Number 4 – EMBRACE WHAT LIFE HAS GIVEN YOU
Maybe the last 49 years didn’t end up like I had perfectly planned in my mind but it came pretty close minus being a millionaire and living on a tropical beach somewhere (but there is still time for that!!). Maybe life took a hard left when we should have gone right. I am learning to take gratitude in the little things in life. Like my kids putting their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, not the sink. Everyday is a gift and we should enjoy some part of it.
How did it take me 40 plus years to realize these things? But as I look back reflecting on my 40’s, I can not wait to see what I discover in my 50’s.
PS. Thank you Michelle for your great insight and words of wisdom. XOXO